The mind of a five-year-old is a fascinating place. And I'm not talking your average politician here. I'm talking Ike, a really smart five-year-old.
I told Ike recently that a great, great, great, etc., grandfather of his lived in Scotland. Ike turned that over in his mind for a few seconds and then said:
“Yeah, but he's dead now, right?”
I am not totally sure if that was Ike's gentle way of telling his grandfather that he is already boring him to tears or whether Ike was genuinely trying to figure out his own place in the cosmic universe.
It may be the latter because a few minutes later, Ike was telling me how God is everyone's great, great, great, etc., etc., great, great grandfather.
Not bad, kid.
Since both a 40-year-old disabled man and a 14-year-old kid made it into the U.S. Open last week, I am doubling my efforts to get Ike to take a greater interest in the game of golf. I don't know how Earl Woods did it with Tiger so young, but it's no picnic.
Ike claims a fondness for miniature golf but spends more time trying to knock my ball into the water hazard or watching tadpoles than in working on his lag putting.
On the driving range, he helpfully reaches into my golf bag for a new club after each shot I take.
“Here, Pop-pop, try this one!”
I'm pretty sure the message here is, “Gee, old man, one of these has GOT to work for you.”
Ike's little brother Mike may be my diamond in the rough, if not the fairway.
Mike equates the old man with two things: the TV remote and golf.
Be it 6:30 in the morning or midnight (and he and I have been up for both), Mike sees me, grabs the remote, and yells “Show? Show? Golf!”
He actually likes Thomas the Train better than Bubba Watson right now. Thomas often rates an “awesome” from the kid. But he does seem attentive whenever Peter Kostis uses the “Konica-Minolta BizHub Swingvision Slow Motion Camera and Gluten-free Juice Extractor” to analyze Rory McIlroy's backswing. (Mike thinks Rory was a wee bit off-plane last week.)
Since I wrote this before the weekend, I'm not sure what Father's Day may have brought. But between my own kids and Ike, Mike, and Spike, I've enough presents to last a lifetime or two.
And speaking of presents, the Union Leader and Centrix Bank will honor four individuals tonight whose presence in New Hampshire keeps on rewarding their fellow Granite Staters. Our inaugural Legacy Awards are going to Dean Kamen, Mike Salter, Lew Feldstein, and Jack Middleton. Look for coverage of the event in tomorrow's Union Leader and at UnionLeader.com.
Write to Joe McQuaid at firstname.lastname@example.org.